LAWYER, LAWYER, PANTS ON FIRE

A Miami, Florida, defense lawyer’s pants burst into flames Wednesday afternoon as he began his closing arguments in front of a jury – in an arson case, no less. Stephen Gutierrez was arguing that his client’s car spontaneously combusted and was not intentionally set on fire. He had been fiddling in his pocket as he was about to address jurors when smoke began billowing out his right pocket. He rushed out of the Miami courtroom, leaving spectators stunned. After jurors were ushered out, Gutierrez returned unharmed, with a singed pocket, and insisted it wasn’t a staged defense demonstration gone wrong. Gutierrez blamed a faulty battery in an e-cigarette. The man Gutierrez was representing, accused of intentionally setting his car on fire, was found guilty anyway.
* Guy’s watched one too many Boston Legal reruns.
* “Just practicing for hell, your Honor.”
* They’re called e-cigarettes ’cause when they burst into flames, you scream “EEEEeeeeeee!!!”
* I can relate to this. I had smoke coming out of my back pocket once after I ate at Taco Bell.
* Actually, the smoke wasn’t bad. It was the 6-foot blue flame that concerned me.
* Talk about an incendiary closing argument.
* I’m not saying this was a sign, but if the lawyer gets hit by lightning too, I’d get the hell out of there.
* “My pants are on fire!” “Me too. That prosecutor is HOT!”