CHURCH HAS BIZARRE MARRIAGE RULES

The Word of Faith Fellowship church in North Carolina has some strict and unusual rules, according to former members, particularly when it comes to marriage:
– Congregants need permission from leader Jane Whaley and other ministers to get married, and it then can take months – or even a year – before the newlyweds are allowed to have sex.
– No one is allowed to date without permission, and most relationships and marriages are arranged by Whaley and ministers.
– On their wedding night, couples are permitted only a “godly peck on the cheek.” When they get in bed together, they must roll over and go to sleep.
– For all married couples, love-making is limited to 30 minutes, no foreplay is allowed, the lights must be turned off and only the missionary position is sanctioned.
– Couples need permission from church leadership to have children, and leaders dole out condoms to make sure unapproved women don’t get pregnant.
Couples violating the rules can be publicly rebuked, subjected to violence or forced to separate.
* Hey – they got a lot of these rules from my ex-wife! Ba-da BOOM!!
* Crankiest. Congregation. Ever.
* Even Scientologists think this is a little nuts.
* Who out there thinks Reverend Whaley is gettin’ some on the side that no one else is allowed to get? Show of hands???
* Good luck to the groom on the wedding night just rolling over with an erection like that.
* Love-making is limited to 30 minutes? What would I do for the extra 28 minutes?
* No foreplay is allowed, but don’t worry: Everyone will be so horny by then that you don’t really need foreplay.
* Of course, it’s easy to make fun of any religious group that you don’t belong to so there’s that.
* Wait, the leader is a woman who outlaws foreplay? How does she feel about cuddling afterwards?

(This reminds me of an old joke: Three married couples – one older, one medium age, and one pair of newlyweds – want to join a church, but the preacher insists they go home and refrain from sex for one month before they can become members of the congregation. The couple who has been married 20 years comes back and says, “It was no problem at all abstaining from sex for 30 days. None.” So the preacher lets them in. The next couple has been married around 5 years. The preacher asks them how they did and they said, “The first few weeks were okay but then things got quite tense, however we were able to refrain from having sex for the full month.” The preacher says, “Good, you may join our church then. Now how about the last couple – the newlyweds?” They come forward sheepishly and the groom says, “The first day was unbearable, and then one morning she was bending down to get a box of cereal and we couldn’t help ourselves. I pounced on her right then and there.” The preacher says, “I’m sorry. This means you can’t come back to our church” and the guy says, “I know. We can’t go back to Safeway, either.”)