SIGNS YOUR CAT IS GETTING OLD

9) Tries to cash in her 8th life insurance policy for a kilo of catnip.
8) Trades in his Whiskas for prune-flavored Whippasnappas.
7) Instead of shredding your drapes, she sub-contracts the job.
6) Writes “Put me to sleep” in its litter box with pee.
5) Even when you strap a piece of buttered toast to her back and drop her, she lands on her hip.
4) Stops leaving dead mice on doormats; starts leaving bingo cards.
3) Spends all day on the front porch, yelling at the squirrels to get the hell out of his yard.
2) Occasionally forgets to ignore you.
1) Has to drink a whole bottle of Rogaine just to cough up one hairball.