CONSTRUCTION WORKER DESTROYS JOB WITH BACKHOE OVER UNPAID WAGES
600 bucks.
STOLEN PENGUINS FOUND
No, not on the telly.
STOP PETTING THE WOMBAT
(Not a euphemism.)
CHINESE WORKERS MADE TO CRAWL IN STREET AS PUNISHMENT
For not meeting sales goals.
AUDIO: ARTIST CREATES INSTALLATION THAT WILL PLAY TOTO’S “AFRICA” IN THE DESERT FOREVER
Hurry, boy, it’s waiting there for you.
AUDIO: DRIVER BLAMES SPEEDING ON MOTLEY CRUE’S “KICKSTART MY HEART”
Ooo, rockin’ down the highway.
JAPAN TO CHARGE YOU $9 FOR LEAVING
The Sayonara Tax.
PARIS NAKED RESTAURANT CLOSING
Lack of business.