FUGITIVE SICK OF PARADISE, TURNS SELF IN

A man who escaped an Austrian prison over a decade ago returned to Austria and turned himself in to police over the weekend. The 64-year-old fugitive had been living on Spain’s Canary Islands. He told police he was fed up with living in the sunny vacation destination. “Tenerife (the largest of the islands) is not as nice as it used to be,” the man told cops in Salzburg. He also told them he’d lived there long enough. The fugitive, whose name wasn’t released by authorities, was carrying two suitcases when he surrendered to police in Salzburg’s railway station.
* “Did you bring us anything?” asked the police.
* Don’t you think it’s ironic that a jailbird escaped to the Canary Islands?
* “Tenerife is not as nice as it used to be.” Jeeze, everybody thinks they’re an influencer these days.
* I had no idea you could get from the Canary Islands to Salzburg by train.
* Translation: He wants somebody else to do the cooking for a change.