ARE YOU READY TO HAVE KIDS? TAKE THIS EASY TEST!

(July, 2017) A writer named Brandy Ferner came up with these suggestions to find out if you’re ready to have children:
#1 – Acquire five cobras and put them in a soft bag. Lay next to the bag in your bed, and sing it lullabies while it writhes for hours instead of falling asleep.
#2 – Spend $100 buying organic chicken nuggets, GMO-free gummy vitamins, gluten-free waffles and preservative-free crackers, then throw it all right into the trash to simulate a child who refuses to eat any of it.
#3 – Set a timer for every daily task you have, making sure to choose an air-raid siren as the ring tone. If blow drying your hair usually take 20 minutes, set the timer for 11. If making dinner takes 30 minutes, set the timer for 3.
#4 – Ask your partner to whine everything they say for four years straight.
#5 – Instruct your partner to say or whine, “I’m huuuuuungry,” every time they get into the car with you to go somewhere.
#6 – Use your entire arm to swipe every last book off of all the bookshelves in your home. Put the books back. Repeat 15 times per day for 1.5 years.
#7 – Ask your partner to shout out a song title relentlessly until you put it on for them every time you’re backing your car out of a busy parking lot.
#8 – Ask your partner to set your morning alarm for anywhere between midnight and 6am – but never later than 6am. Gauge when to go to bed, and try to sleep tight not knowing when you’re going to be awoken. Repeat for 18 years.
#9 – Install a Nerf basketball hoop in the back seat of your car. Try to throw snacks, stuffed animals, books and leaking water bottles into the basket to simulate giving them to your crying child. If the items don’t make it into the hoop (they won’t), throw your arm out trying to retrieve them for a second try, while also keeping your eyes on the road and listening to “The Circle of Life” on full blast.
#10 – Have your partner bat a balloon around your head while you make dinner for them.
#11 – Have your partner sneeze directly into your mouth. And then cough in your eyes.
#12 – At your lowest moment, the one where you’re not sure if you can go on anymore, have your partner throw a Thomas the Train engine square at your head, spilling your blood.
* And doesn’t Brandy Ferner sound like a real joy!
* She really not on board with that whole “every baby is a miracle” thing, is she?
* Though, I will admit, she’s managed to capture what it’s like on the good days.
* If you think this is bad – just wait. She left out all the diaper disasters and puking.
* How did the human race ever survive? Two words: Accidental pregnancies.