BUMPER STICKER SUGGESTIONS

Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ASS?

If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!

Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.

100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest?

Your gene pool needs a little chlorine.

You’re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you.

Don’t piss me off! I’m running out of places to hide the bodies.

You are depriving some poor village of its IDIOT.

Save Your Breath … You’ll need it to blow up your date!

Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.

My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom

Grow your own dope, plant a man.

All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.

Out of my mind…Back in five minutes.

Hang up and drive.

If you can read this, please flip me back over … (seen upside down, on a Jeep)

Please tell your pants it’s not polite to point.

GUYS: No shirt, no service. GALS: No shirt, no charge.

Impotence: Nature’s way of saying “No hard feelings”

Heart Attacks … God’s Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends

Boldly going nowhere.

Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.

Try not to let your mind wander. It is too small to be out by itself.

The proctologist called, they found your head.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don’t have film.

Just because your head is pointed, doesn’t mean you’re sharp.

Why am I the only person on earth who knows how to drive?

Some people just don’t know how to drive. I call these people “Everybody But Me”.

Don’t like my driving? Then quit watching me.

I may be slow, but I’m ahead of you

CAUTION – Driver legally blonde

BEER: It’s not just for breakfast anymore

I need someone really bad … Are you really bad?

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.