AUDIO: DON'T KISS YOUR CHICKENS
You’ll get salmonella.
LEMONADE STAND THIEF CAPTURED
He knocked over their table and swiped $30.
THIEF PUTS PUTTERS DOWN PANTS
He shoplifted a putter, twice.
DOG RIDIN' MONKEY RACES WILL GO ON AT ILLINOIS FAIR
The Banana Derby.
HEARSE STOLEN DURING FUNERAL
In Buffalo, New York, a hearse was…
LADY DELEGATE SHAKES NAKED BREASTS AT EX-HUSBAND
“With one breast in each hand [shaking] them up and down.”
WOMAN TELLS RESTAURANT JESUS WILL PAY FOR HER MEAL
At the Calabash Seafood Buffet.
BARTENDER SHOT FOR USING CLAMATO INSTEAD OF TOMATO JUICE
It sure didn’t taste like tomato juice.
MAN BURNS EX-GIRLFRIEND'S TEDDY BEAR
A 25-year-old Memphis, Tennessee, man is accused of…