PORTLAND POLICE PURSUE PUBLIC POOPER

A Southeast Portland, Oregon, business owner is working to find a man seen defecating near his office several times in the past month. Police have posted flyers with his face around the city after he was captured on security video doing his business outside a building near SE 58th and Powell. Catrina Salazar, who works nearby, said: “I find it interesting that he has toilet paper with him, it’s very pre-planned.”
* Catrina has obviously given this man a lot of thought.
* This business owner’s office sounds like a real dump.
* The pooper’s look is described as ‘middle aged and straining’.
* If you see him, do not approach – without a can of Febreeze.
* Isn’t Southeast Portland a business zone? Isn’t this guy just doing his business?
* And, yes, police have their Number 2 man on it.
* When they find him, it’ll be a load off their shoulders. And their sidewalks.
* Great, if he runs out of toilet paper he can use the flyers.
* Portland is the Rose City so think of this as fertilizer.
* Catrina finds it “interesting” that he has toilet paper? What’s so interesting about it?
* How about disgusting?
* This Catrina is spelled with a C – otherwise she’d be looking at a ten-year anniversary about now.