SEX TOYS HANGING FROM POWER LINES IN PORTLAND
It’s ok – they do not pose a fire hazard.
SHARK RESCUED BY BEACH-GOERS
On Cape Cod.
COUPLE DISCOVERS HOME WAS PREVIOUSLY A SEX HOUSE
There was once two illuminated cages in the basement.
COMPETING TURKEY TESTICLE FESTIVALS
Go figure.
DRUNK DAD LEAVES 3-YEAR-OLD AT SUBWAY
At 11:30 at night.
MAN PULLS DINE-AND-DASH AT DISNEY WORLD, TWICE
Moody has been arrested at Disney World five times over the past two-and-a-half years.
MAN STEALS SURGICAL OPERATING TABLE
He walked out with it.
SEPTIC TRUCK CRASHES INTO HOME, LEAKS
The homeowners had just returned from their honeymoon.
GOVERNMENT HAS SPENT $2 MILLION TO GET WIVES TO NAG THEIR HUSBANDS
To get them to stop using chewing tobacco.
DRIVE THRU WORKER RECOGNIZES MECHANICS IN HIS CAR
“Randy, hey look, your car is on drive through.”