BROKEN FAKE FINGERNAIL SOLVES MURDER
Found near the body.
NEW JERSEY MAN FINDS CANNONBALL IN BACKYARD
It was “fully functional”.
REPRESENTATIVE PROPOSES GENITAL CHECK FOR HIGH SCHOOL ATHLETES
Sounds reasonable.
CHEF STABS ANOTHER CHEF AT P.F. CHANG'S
It happened at the start of the dinner rush. How inconsiderate!
MAN PELTED MOTHER WITH POTATO SALAD
Police arrived to find “food all over her and in her hair.”
PORTLAND POLICE PURSUE PUBLIC POOPER
Quote: “I find it interesting that he has toilet paper with him.”
KITCHEN RENOVATION YIELDS HIDDEN SAFE WITH CASH
And clues to a treasure hunt.
NO PRIVACY IN THE AGE OF DRONES, NOT EVEN ON TOP OF A WIND TURBINE
Benedictine monk’s favorite “me time” retreat ruined.
GUY KIDNAPS OLD MAN OFF STREET, FEEDS HIM
He thought the 77-year-old was homeless.