AUDIO: ROBBER HAS MACHETE, CLERK HAS BIGGER MACHETE
A man attempted to rob a liquor store in Worcester, Massachusetts, with a machete. He was thwarted when the clerk pulled a larger machete from under the counter. According to police, Luis Jimenez, 38, entered Belmont Liquors on Nov. 15, pointed a “machete” at the clerk on duty and told him to empty the register. The clerk refused and Mr. Jimenez allegedly grabbed him by the hand, placed his weapon on the counter and said, “Hey, I ain’t playing.” The clerk pulled away from Mr. Jimenez, retrieved “a larger machete” from under the counter and showed it to Mr. Jimenez, who walked out of the store and ran away, according to police.
* The clerk wasn’t playing either.
* Luis Jimenez? Don’t tell Trump!
* It’s like a crime poker game: “I see your small machete and I raise you one large machete.”
* Why all the machetes? Is there a lot of dense jungle undergrowth in Worcester, Massachusetts?
* Global warming must be worse than I thought.
* Which is more psycho? Crimes with swords or machetes? The phones are open.
* That reminds me: I’ve got to get the cutlery ready for Thanksgiving dinner.
* God knows some years we need a machete to cut the damn thing.
CLIP: From Crocodile Dundee: “That’s not a knife. THAT’S a knife.”
