DARTH VADER ROBS CONVENIENCE STORE

A man dressed in a Darth Vader costume tried to rob a Florida convenience store Sunday. Jacob Jeremy Mercer, 32, entered Jacksonville Beach’s “8 til Late” store dressed in black and a Vader helmet, holding a pistol. He demanded cash, cops said. With no light saber around, a store clerk picked up the next best thing – a bottle of salad dressing – and hurled it at Vader. It hit him in the face. Vader turned and fled. Police later arrested Mercer for attempted armed robbery.
* “The overhand throw is STRONG in this one.”
* “The Balsamic Vinaigrette Strikes Back.”
* Now he’s going to get his salad tossed in prison.
* Notice how no one ever dresses as Princess Leia to rob stores?
* I haven’t seen all the Star Wars movies but I don’t believe Darth Vader was taken out by a bottle of salad dressing.
* Maybe on Halloween this wouldn’t look suspicious. Or maybe a little closer to the new Star Wars movie opening.
* The store clerk took on somebody pointing a pistol at him? Sorry, but you have to choose your battles a little bit better than that.
* The correct response should have been, “How would you like the money? In a paper bag, or plastic, Mr. Vader, sir?”
* Meanwhile the store owner will probably dock the clerk’s pay for breaking the salad dressing.