FOREIGN-SPEAKING MEN BUY 100 CELLPHONES AT THREE DIFFERENT WALMARTS
Nothing to see here, citizen.
COP'S WIFE CAUGHT PORCH PIRATING
But she felt guilty an gave the stuff back.
FATHER-SON CHICKEN WING THIEVES
$40,000 worth.
COFFEE CANS WASH UP ON BEACH
They fell off a boat.
BROTHERS FIGHT WITH KNIFE, CAULKING GUN AND A SHILLELAGH
Look out – he has caulk!
WOMAN DRIVER EATING CEREAL LEADS COPS ON 30 MILE CHASE
Another cereal criminal.
MAN STEALS MOTHER'S SOUP
Holy posole!
HOMELESS ASPEN, COLORADO, MAN BUYS WINNING LOTTERY TICKET
How many things can you find wrong with this headline?
FIRST U.S. PENIS TRANSPLANT
For wounded US soldiers.