HEARSE DRIVERS FIRED FOR MAKING DONUT RUN
“So you’re stopping to get coffee?”
COLLEGE STUDENT PUNCHES SHARK
While swimming in Cocoa Beach, Florida.
ELDERLY MAN LOSES HOUSING SUBSIDY AFTER PROSTITUTE FOUND UNDER HIS BED
He paid for the hookers by making booze runs for the other residents.
DEATH BY ATOMIC WEDGIE
The cause of death was asphyxiation.
MACARONI SALAD TRAIL LEADS TO RESTAURANT BURGLARS
Detectives found a steady trail of macaroni salad.
COLLEGE CLASS REQUIRES NAKED FINAL
At the University of California San Diego.
DAD USES DAUGHTER IN GIRL SCOUT COOKIE SCAM
Collecting money for cookies that were never ordered.
ROBBER PEPPER SPRAYS HIMSELF
He sprayed it, then walked into the cloud.
RESTAURANT HOLDS WHITE APPRECIATION DAY
“The least we could do is offer one day to appreciate white Americans.”
MAN ASSAULTED BY GIRLFRIEND WHO WANTED SEX IN THE MEN'S ROOM
She followed him inside and began stripping off her clothes.