SANTA CLAUS DIES AT CHILDREN’S PARTY
In Russia.
DEAD MAN BOUGHT 14 YEARS WORTH OF XMAS PRESENTS FOR NEIGHBOR’S CHILD
(He bought them before he died.)
HEAD TRANSPLANT MAN GETS MARRIED, CALLS OFF OPERATION
Head of the family.
FAMILY CAT MAILED TO ALBERTA
Postage mew.
4TH GRADERS ASKED TO SOLVE MURDER OF ELF
Who offed the elf?
AUDIO: ATTENTION WALMART SHOPPERS: I QUIT
Teen quits over p.a. system.