WOMAN WRITES OWN OBITUARY

Sybil Hicks of Hamilton, Ontario, passed away on February 2. She wrote her own obituary, and the internet has noticed. Here’s some of what she wrote:
“It hurts me to admit it … but I, Mrs. Ron Hicks from Baysville, have passed away. I passed peacefully with my eldest daughter, Brenda, by my side February 2, 2019 at 8:20 a.m. I leave behind my loving husband, Ron Hicks, whom I often affectionately referred to as a “Horse’s Ass”. I also left behind my children whom I tolerated over the years; Bob my oldest son and also my favourite. Brian who was the Oreo cookie favourite, Brenda who would run to clean the bathrooms when she heard company was coming. Barbara the ever Miss Perfect and finally Baby Bruce who wouldn’t eat homemade turkey soup because he didn’t want to be alert looking for bones while he ate. I finally have the smoking hot body I have always wanted … having been cremated. Please come say goodbye and celebrate my wonderful life with my husband and his special friend Dorothy who is now lovingly taking care of my horse’s ass. Thank you all for sharing my life with me. I am off to swim to the buoy and back. Love, Sybil.”
* Always leave them laughing.
* Encore! Oh – wait. Never mind.
* Was this her or did she have a ghostwriter?
* Her ashes will be scattered at Giggles Comedy Club during the Saturday night late show, two drink minimum.
* Usually when a comedian dies, it’s AFTER they tell the jokes.
* Look for Sybil on next season’s Comedians in Coffins Getting Cremated with Jerry Seinfeld.