JAPANESE BILLIONAIRE CANCELS “GIRLFRIEND TO THE MOON” SEARCH
Ground Control to Major Weirdo.
AUDIO: TEEN GETS HARMONICA STUCK IN MOUTH
That sucks. And blows.
ADVENTURE COMPANY MINISUB HITS TITANIC WRECK
Graze the Titanic.
GLITTER COFFINS
Sparkle in death as ye do in life.
WOMAN DIES IN CAKE-EATING CONTEST
This’ll end up in the tort system.
HOTEL OFFERS FREE ROOM IF YOU MAKE A VALENTINE’S BABY
(During a Nooner)
AUDIO: THE MUMMY SPEAKS
This means something.
PRISON ESCAPEE SENDS WARDEN A POSTCARD
“Greetings from Thailand”