TOURIST CRUSHED BY FALLING GIRAFFE
As they do.
WOMAN GIVES BIRTH ON DISCO DANCE FLOOR
Born to dance.
BAKERY SELLING GINGERBREAD PERSONS
Genderbread.
CHINESE MAN HAD EAR FULL OF COCKROACHES
Roaches check in, but they don’t check out.
MAN LOOKING TO MAKE A RING FROM HIS SPERM
He didn’t go to Jared’s.
CANADIAN MAN’S CURB TO BE REPAIRED BY THE CITY IN 28 YEARS
That seems reasonable.
A SILENT HAIRCUT
Shush and a haircut, two bits.
INDIAN MAN DIES TRYING TO EAT 50 EGGS
He made it to 41.