MAN SHOOTS MIRROR WHILE TAKING A SELFIE
His right hand doesn’t know what his left is doing.
FOOT SNIFFER ARRESTED
He crawled under library tables smelling feet.
7-ELEVEN DELIVERS DATE PACK
Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, a Hershey bar, a can of Red Bull, gum and condoms.
GUANTANAMO PRISONER HAS MATCH.COM DATING PROFILE
A prisoner of love.
MAN STABS SELF WHILE SHOPLIFTING
Damn those blisterpacks.
MOM & KIDS POSE IN FRONT OF DEAD DAD TO WARN OF HEROIN
And they are all smiling.
ASSAULT WITH A BRISKET
The was some grill-hogging going on.
ALABAMA LAWMAKER SAYS GOD TOLD HIM TO BAN SAGGY PANTS
“I know that God would not go around with pants down.”
AUDIO: VANDALS LOBBING WATERMELONS AT CARS
In Reno, Nevada.