R.I.P. MR. COFFEE
The machine was introduced in 1972.
DELTA AIRLINES WILL NO LONGER CARRY DEAD AFRICAN ANIMALS
No more hunting trophies.
AMERICANS CHOKING ON CHEESE
Be careful, cheeseaters.
MAN SLEPT WHILE TRAIN PASSED OVER HIM
Then he tried to go back to sleep.
COUPLE STEALS CLASS HAMSTER
He’s OK.
CHASE SUSPECT THREW CHAINSAWS AT COPS
During a chase.
MAN INTERRUPTS MARRIAGE PROPOSAL TO SUBDUE ROBBER
She said yes anyway.
MAN SHOOTS DOWN DRONE SPYING ON HIS 16-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER
“It was just right there. It was hovering.”
MAN SHOT BY RICOCHET OFF OF ARMADILLO
A Texas man suffered a gunshot wound to the head…