MONKEY ON THE MAILBOX
Munching on the mail.
SALT WATER ON MARS
Flowing streams.
MAN THROWS MCDONALD'S PICKLE FIT
I asked for no pickles.
COPS ARREST WOMAN IN DONUT SCAM
She took orders for fundraisers, but didn’t deliver.
HERO TEEN PUNCHES OUT BULLY WHO WAS BEATING UP A BLIND KID
And yes, he was suspended for his actions.
GUY PROPOSES ON ROLLER COASTER
He wanted to do something creative.
DRUNK BIRTHDAY CELEBRATOR DIDN'T KNOW HE'D BEEN SHOT TWICE
In the shoulder, and the butt.
WOMAN GIVES BIRTH AT PADRES GAME
During the third inning.
SCHOOL BANS PLAYGROUND TAG
To ensure the physical and emotional safety of all students.
DRUNK DRIVER ASKS TO PERFORM "JAZZ HANDS"
For the police.