AUDIO: NY POLICE CAPTURE STRAY KOMODO DRAGON
In an alley.
PARENTS BATTLE AT KINDERGARTEN PLAY
The show was cancelled.
MAN CHARGED FOR USING GUN AS A HAMMER IN AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
He needed to drive a thumbtack into a wood plaque.
WOMAN FAKES BEING A LAWYER FOR TEN YEARS
She was in line to become partner in her firm.
CLOSED TACO BELL UPSETS MAN
He peels out, hit building, knocks himself out.
STUNTMAN TO FLY ROCKET ACROSS TEXAS CANYON
A steam-powered rocket at that.
12-YEAR-OLD GIRL ARRESTED FOR PINCHING BOY'S BUTT
“Let your kid be a kid. He might get some friends.”
REDNECKS LIKE BLOWING THINGS UP
Like themselves.
MAN ARRESTED FOR NOT RETURNING VIDEO IN 2002
“Freddie Got Fingered”, of all things.
HEADBOARD MIRROR SPARKS FIRE
A mirror is pretty much like a big magnifying glass.