PIZZA BOXES OF DEATH
Now the pizza boxes will kill you.
AUDIO: HERO DOG SAVES DOG FRIEND
Just like Lassie.
JEWELRY STORE ROBBED TWICE IN ONE DAY
300 rings, and then a $400 necklace.
THE BROOKLYN SERIAL SPITTER
…is on the loose.
WOMAN EATS CHICKEN WINGS DURING POLICE CHASE
Police noticed a “brownish substance” on her mouth.
CAR SALESMAN KIDNAPPED, BEATEN DURING TEST DRIVE
And tossed in the trunk.
COMPANY FINED FOR NOT PAYING FOR BATHROOM BREAKS
Employees had to clock out to use the restroom.
REPORT OF GRAIN ELEVATOR FIRE JUST A RECLUSIVE JUGGLER
Firefighters in Fort Worth, Texas, responded to a grain elevator fire Sunday night. When they opened the doors they found a man juggling flaming batons. A spokesman for the fire company said the man didn’t have a reason to be there. “They put his torches out,” he said. * Oh well, back to the apples…
OLD NAVY IN TROUBLE OVER T-SHIRT SLOGAN
“Young Aspiring Artist”
AMISH BUGGY COLLISION
Oh, the humanity.