WOMAN FALLS DOWN TRASH CHUTE INTO COMPACTOR

A 38-year-old woman badly injured her leg after falling three stories down a trash chute in her apartment building in Salem, Massachusetts. The incident happened around 5 a.m. on Monday morning after a 19-year-old man who lived in the building offered her $20 in exchange for helping him retrieve the keys he had dropped down the chute while taking out the garbage. During their first attempt, he held her by her ankles and then lowered her head first down into the chute. When that didn’t work, he got a sheet and tied it around her to lower her in. But then it ripped, and she fell down. The woman landed in a dumpster, where the trash compactor turned on and crushed her. An officer who responded to the scene found the woman in the basement of the building laying on the ground next to the dumpster screaming in pain, her leg badly twisted in the wrong direction. She was then transported to Massachusetts General Hospital for treatment.
* Did she get the 20 bucks?
* Even the guy from the “Jackass” show thought this was nuts.
* This would have worked better with a Helper Monkey.
* How about the monkey from “Night at the Museum” that’s crazy for Ben Stiller’s keys?
* Falling into the trash compactor worked out much better in the first Star Wars movie.
* This guy needs to buy better sheets.
* This apartment building needs to add an intelligence test to the rental application.
* This is the worst thing to happen in Salem since the Witch Trials.
* Sorry, but ever since Ozzy Osbourne announced his new show about history, I try to throw some in.
* You know the weird thing? She fell down three stories in a garbage chute and broke her leg and yet she still got off easy.
* First, the guy held her by the ankles and lowered her down the chute and it would have worked, too … if she was thirty feet tall.