COFFEE CANS WASH UP ON BEACH
They fell off a boat.
BROTHERS FIGHT WITH KNIFE, CAULKING GUN AND A SHILLELAGH
Look out – he has caulk!
WOMAN DRIVER EATING CEREAL LEADS COPS ON 30 MILE CHASE
Another cereal criminal.
MAN STEALS MOTHER'S SOUP
Holy posole!
HOMELESS ASPEN, COLORADO, MAN BUYS WINNING LOTTERY TICKET
How many things can you find wrong with this headline?
FIRST U.S. PENIS TRANSPLANT
For wounded US soldiers.
AUDIO: POST OFFICE TO EMAIL YOU YOUR MAIL
To let you know what’s coming later.
DRUNK WOMAN IN NEW JERSEY LOOKING FOR NEW JERSEY
Near the Holland Tunnel.