ELECTRONICS THIEVES FORGET TO TURN OFF DEVICES' GPS
The cops soon found them.
AUDIO: SOUTHERN MOM DESTROYS KIDS' CELL PHONE
With a shotgun and a sledgehammer.
RAMPAGING MAN BLAMES TOO MUCH MASTURBATION
Also, music.
AUDIO: FURIOUS MOM YELLS AT AMERICAN AIRLINES
“If there’s no flight just say: ‘There’s no flight!’”
120-POUND GREAT DANE RESCUED FROM TREE
Stupid squirrels.
MAN GOES TO DENTIST, WAKES UP WITH NO TEETH
Forms were signed.
AUDIO: TESLA HAS A "BIOWEAPON DEFENSE MODE"
The world’s most expensive fart fan.
NY DEMOCRATS COMPLAIN OF T.P. SHORTAGE
“Try it out, it will probably cut you.”
STARBUCKS TO CUSTOMER: "DIABETES HERE I COME"
Customer didn’t get the joke.
BURGER KING HIT WITH PRANK CALL
The old “break all the windows” gag.