DRUNK WOMAN IN NEW JERSEY LOOKING FOR NEW JERSEY

Port Authority police observed a Volkswagen Beetle stop in Jersey City near the Holland Tunnel at about 2:30 a.m. Saturday, and watched as a woman got out of the car. The woman, 31-year-old Karol Andino, told the officer she was “looking for New Jersey,” a police official said. She was unsteady on her feet and admitted that she “had a few drinks.” She was advised that she was already in New Jersey. Andino failed a sobriety test and a Breathalyzer test indicated that she had a blood-alcohol level three times the legal limit.
* Sometimes asking for help is not a smart move.
* Why did she get out of the car? Did she think she could find where New Jersey was hiding?
* Then she started yelling “Olly olly oxen free!”
* “Looking for New Jersey.” Sounds like an art movie.
* Or maybe a new Michael Moore documentary.
* The good news: At least she wasn’t texting.
* “Damn it, where’s New Jersey? It was right here a second ago.”
* I see we’re well into the holiday drinking stories now.
* Then she screamed, “The Holland Tunnel? You’re telling me this is Amsterdam?”