GIRLS BASKETBALL TEAM KICKED OUT OF LEAGUE BECAUSE THEY KEEP WINNING
No one wants to play them.
ALLIGATOR DISCOVERED IN SUBURBAN ILLINOIS HOUSE
Had been there for 26 years.
DEAD MAN'S WILL ASKS PEOPLE TO NOT VOTE FOR TRUMP
“In lieu of flowers, please do not vote for Donald.”
WIFE BEATS HUSBAND WITH NUNCHUCKS WHEN HE REFUSES SEX
He’d rather watch tv.
DOG ENTERS MARATHON, COMES IN 7TH
A two-year-old bloodhound named Ludivine.
NAME A COCKROACH FOR YOUR LOVER FOR VALENTINE'S DAY
The Bronx Zoo is offering romantics the perfect Valentine’s Day gift: Naming a cockroach in honor of their love. Says the zoo: “Your donation will also help us protect these misunderstood love bugs, along with a lot of other animals, both big and small,” the zoo said. “As they say, roaches make the heart beat…
SEATMATE PUSHES GUY OFF CHAIRLIFT
Fell 25 feet.
BURGLAR LOCKS KEYS IN GETAWAY CAR
He called a cab.
DRUNK MAN WITH GUN ACCIDENTALLY SHOOTS MOVIE-GOER
At the Benghazi movie.
FLORIDA DRUG CASES
Two more “how did that get there?” stories.