COWBOY LASSOES BIKE THIEF
In a Walmart parking lot.
WOMAN PULLS GUN ON PRO WRESTLER DURING MATCH
He told her to “sit her toothless self back down.”
GUY BITES INTO A CHEESEBURGER, FINDS $20 BILL
At McDonald’s.
MOTHER COMPLAINS ABOUT SWIM INSTRUCTOR'S MAN BOOBS
“the male instructor’s breasts were flopping on the water.”
AUDIO: WOMAN HELD PRISONER BY DEER
Serpentine!
RESIDENTS UPSET WITH ADULT BABY FETISH STORE
Inside is a seven-foot crib, an over-sized high chair and adult-sized playpen.
HOUSE FIRE ON APPROPRIATELY NAMED HIGH STREET
Marijuana grow house.
WOMAN DIES, IMPALED BY BEACH UMBRELLA
On her birthday.
DUI SUSPECT WEARING TUTU, CHASTITY BELT
Had to get the key from his girlfriend.
TOWN MAYOR BREAKS LITTLE LEAGUE UMPIRE'S JAW
Donald Trump, I think we just found your running mate.