AUDIO: WOMAN HELD PRISONER BY DEER
An Ohio woman says she feels like a “prisoner” because a deer has been attacking her outside her home. Cindy Frost says the deer charged her last week while she was taking her dogs out. She says she had to fight the doe off with a dog leash and her fist, and tried to zigzag back and forth (* Serpentine! Serpentine!). Frost says the deer slipped on the black top allowing her to safely return inside. She says the deer then circled her home. Frost says the doe’s fawn lives in her backyard. State wildlife officials say her there’s not much they can do, and that such encounters are likely quite common.
* Bad Bambi! Bad!
* I have a one word solution: venison.
* Time to call in Ted Nugent.
* He’d take care of this with his bare teeth.
* I say scare the deer with one of those pop-out snakes-in-a-can.
* Get a bear costume?
* Cattle prod?
* Party poppers?
* A boom box blasting tiger sounds?
* One thing we already know: Her dogs are serious underachievers.
* Time to bring in the mountain lion.
CLIP: From “The In-Laws”: “Serpentine! Serpentine!”
