FLORIDA CONGRESSMAN BRINGS JAR OF MOSQUITOES ONTO HOUSE FLOOR
Zika skeeters.
70-YEAR-OLD MAN WOULD RATHER BE IN JAIL THAN WITH HIS WIFE
So he robbed a bank.
73 ARRESTED AT AMISH RAVER
In a field.
AUDIO: POLICE CAR THIEF ASKS, "IS THIS A FELONY?"
In fact, it’s the toppest felony.
BLOOD-SHOT, PINKIE-CHOPPIN' IN WISCONSIN
Wierd-consin, more like.
BURGLAR PAINTS DOG PURPLE
Ask Sherwin Williams.
FEUDING MAN BULLDOZES NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE
Walls were on the ground.
NOW, LEPROSY
Next: Dropsy.
MAN FIRES CORNCOBS AT NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE
They had been feuding.