GUY FAILS TO ROB 5 BANKS IN THREE HOURS

Police are looking for a man who tried – and failed – to rob five Manhattan banks in a three-hour span Monday. Authorities say the man walked into the Valley National Bank on Fifth Avenue shortly before 2 p.m. and passed the bank teller a note demanding money. The teller refused and the man fled. Fifteen minutes later, he walked into a Capitol One Bank on Park Avenue and again passed the teller a note demanding money. Again, the teller refused and the man ran off. Less than 40 minutes after that, the man repeated his demand – and was subsequently denied – at a bank on Park Avenue, and then tried to hit up a Chase Bank on Lexington Avenue, again with no success. Finally, at around 4:45 p.m., the man tried a Chase Bank on 86th Street. The bank teller there refused to give him money and he ran off.
* All the while whispering “I think I can, I think I can …”
* Said the president of Goldman Sachs: “Pfft. Amateur.”
* Later he asked a guy on the street what time it was, but nobody would give him the time of day.
* Maybe instead of demanding money, he should change tactics and ask nicely?
* Maybe he could pull this off if he actually became a teller?
* Wait – is he by any chance invisible?
* He should be praised for his stick-to-it-tiveness.
* You know the old saying: If at first you don’t succeed, then fail, fail again.
* He couldn’t rob the 6th bank – it was already being robbed.
* Fifth Avenue? Park Avenue? Lexington? At least he went where the money is.
* Where are those superheroes down at Time Square when the city needs them?
* Police are looking for a criminal with extremely low self-esteem.