AUDIO: HELP WANTED: BEER HISTORIAN
At the Smithsonian Insti(hic)-titute.
JANITOR LEAVES JARS OF EXCREMENT IN CEILING
Also an electric bill.
MAN STUCK IN MUD PLAYING POKEMON GO
At 2am Sunday morning.
MARGARITA BURN
Lime juice + sunlight = skin burn
GUY STARTS POLICE CHASE BECAUSE HE'S BORED
One hour, two counties, 49 miles.
STARBUCKS LOOSENS BARISTA DRESS CODE
Fedoras ok now, thank god.
MAN PULLS GUN AFTER KID KICKED HIS SEAT AT MOVIE THEATER
During ‘Star Trek Beyond.’
CRONUT CUSTOMERS WAIT IN LINE NEXT TO DEAD BODY
About a dozen people.
HYPNO-PARENTING
Using hypnosis to make bratty kids act like angels.