AUDIO: POLICE CAR THIEF ASKS, "IS THIS A FELONY?"
In fact, it’s the toppest felony.
BLOOD-SHOT, PINKIE-CHOPPIN' IN WISCONSIN
Wierd-consin, more like.
BURGLAR PAINTS DOG PURPLE
Ask Sherwin Williams.
FEUDING MAN BULLDOZES NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE
Walls were on the ground.
NOW, LEPROSY
Next: Dropsy.
MAN FIRES CORNCOBS AT NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE
They had been feuding.
AUDIO: NEWLYWED COUPLE LEAVES CHICAGO AFTER A COUPLE OF DAYS
The scary man scared us.
MAN ANSWERS CELL PHONE, SHOOTS SELF
While in a dentist chair.
GOAT YOGA
Mind the pellets.