WOMAN SHOT IN VICTORIA'S SECRET OVER A MAN
Everyone’s panties were in a bunch.
JEWELER LOCKS DIAMOND THIEF IN VAULT
The Sting it wasn’t.
GUY DUCT-TAPED TO A YIELD SIGN
Lost a bet.
ALABAMA TEEN CAN'T TAKE GRANDMA TO THE PROM
Get your own prom, grandma.
TEACHER GIVES ANTI-TRUMP VOCABULARY TEST
School officials were (BLANK).
INFLATABLE 12-FOOT BEER BOTTLE STOLEN
In Kalamazoo.
CABLE GUY'S BODY FOUND IN CLOSET OF ALL-GIRLS HIGH SCHOOL
Police are investigating.
CRAYOLA DUMPS YELLOW CRAYON
Dandelion.
AUDIO: JOGGER RAGE – BICYCLE THROWN OFF MOUNTAIN
It’s bad when your bicycle has an aviation accident.
OLD PAIR OF LEVI'S FOUND
From 1893. Unworn.