USED SPACEX ROCKET FOR SALE ON CRAIGSLIST
“Gently used.”
MASSIVE STOCK MARKET DROP
Look out below.
BUD LIGHT TO BUY PHILADELPHIANS A BEER
At the victory parade.
ENTIRE HOUSE STOLEN
A one-bedroom, one-bathroom cabin.
MORE NAKED PEOPLE COMING TO TIMES SQUARE
Painted naked people.
GIRL FIGHT: BLEACH VS. PICKLE JUICE
I miss zip guns.
ROBBERS HIT STORE, EMERGE TO FIND POLICE IN SWAT TRAINING
Oops, wrong day.
AMAZON APPLIES FOR PATENT ON WORKER WRISTBANDS
The next phase in worker control.