MAN CRASHES PLANE INTO BABY SHOWER LOCATION IN ATTEMPT TO KILL WIFE
Missed.
MEAT PLANT WORKER KICKED BY ZOMBIE COW
Night of the Living Cow.
MELTING GLACIERS REVEALS DEAD BODIES ON MT EVEREST
Watch where you plant your ice axe.
WOMAN DIES AFTER FIVE HOURS OF DRUG-FUELED SEX
Who has five hours for anything anymore?
MAN WHO CHANGED NAME TO “MICHAEL JACKSON” WANTS TO CHANGE IT BACK
Won’t you please help?
THE TOWN OF VULCAN, CANADA TO BUY NEW STAR TREK JACKETS FOR THE CITY COUNCIL
Dammit, Jim, I’m a doctor not a tailor.
CHEESE IS A HIP HOP FAN
Better cheese through hip hop.
THIEVES STEAL FAKE PAINTING PLANTED BY POLICE
They knew the crime was coming.