GLITTER COFFINS
Sparkle in death as ye do in life.
WOMAN DIES IN CAKE-EATING CONTEST
This’ll end up in the tort system.
HOTEL OFFERS FREE ROOM IF YOU MAKE A VALENTINE’S BABY
(During a Nooner)
AUDIO: THE MUMMY SPEAKS
This means something.
PRISON ESCAPEE SENDS WARDEN A POSTCARD
“Greetings from Thailand”
THE PLANE CRASH RIDE
You must be THIS goth to ride this ride.
CROW STEALS WINDSHIELD WIPERS
A real dickiebird.
D-DAY LAND PROJECT BRINGS PROTESTS
All this and World War II.
3-YEAR-OLD JOINS MENSA
Mr. Smarty-Trainingpants.