WEDNESDAY, Nov 9 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, November 9, 2022
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: A & M AUTOLAND – Stilts; THE ONLY MORNING SHOW IN TOWN

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

CHAOS NEVER DIES DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Chaos Never Dies Day recognizes the turmoil in modern, everyday life. Are things a little crazy at home? Is school a little on the wild side? Is your workplace hectic and disorderly? We thought so. Just when things seem to calm down at work and home, along comes something to disrupt your life. Yes, disorder is everywhere. Hectic schedules, changes to plans, unexpected tasks and chores, the list goes on and on and on … Today is designed for you. It’s a day to recognize the chaos in your life. You can best celebrate this day, by recognizing that chaos never dies. Rather, its a way of life. You can partake in this special day, by putting just a little order back into your life. You can start, by picking one thing that is really disrupting your life, and change it … for the good. On the bright side: If you think your life is chaotic today, just wait until the holiday season arrives.”

GO TO AN ART MUSEUM DAY
The National Today website says this:
“Remember how excited you were to go on a field trip to the museum as a kid? The first thing on your mind was probably, “Yeah, no class!,” but a big part of the appeal was the thought of going on an adventure. And art’s all about exploration—in fact, that’s why we celebrate Go to an Art Museum Day on November 9. More than 30,000 museums around the world participate, and each year even has a different theme. So today, go to a museum and discover something new!”

WORLD ADOPTION DAY

November is:

Adopt a Senior Pet Month
Great American Smoke Out Month
National Adoption Month
National Military Family Month
National Native American Heritage Month
Raisin Bread Month
Stamp Collecting Month
Vegan Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITY

SEAN PENN GIVES HIS OSCAR TO ZELENSKYY

Sean Penn gifted his Oscar to Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy on Tuesday in a symbolic gesture while visiting Kyiv. Penn is in Ukraine filming a documentary. During the actor’s visit to the capitol, Penn told Zelenskyy, “It’s just a symbolic silly thing, but if I know this is here then I’ll feel better and strong enough for the fights. When you win, bring it back to Malibu, because I’ll feel much better knowing there’s a piece of me here.”
* And the award for pomposity goes to…
* How many things can you find wrong with this story:
1. He packs for a visit to a war-torn country. He packs his Oscar.
2. ‘President Zelenskyy, thanks for meeting with me. I brought my Oscar. I could have brought some more medical supplies, but I didn’t have room because of my Oscar.’
3. “If it’s here, I’LL feel strong enough for the fights.” ‘Which you’re fighting.’
4. “Bring it back to Malibu.” Oh – did I not mention I live in Malibu? It’s a lot better then here in the middle of a war.
* Somebody tell Will Smith to slap that guy.

THE BUZZ

THINGS I DIDN’T KNOW UNTIL I LIVED WITH A WOMAN

Reddit asked men for things they didn’t know until they had lived with a woman. Some of the replies:
– “Pockets are very rare for women’s pants. Several years married and still shocked by this.”
– “How many household items can become a bra hanger. From doorknobs to TVs to bedposts to end tables. I grew up with all sisters and never saw this until I lived with my ex-wife.”
– “I learned that I wish I had a garbage disposal in the bathtub for all that long hair.”
– “Nothing will make your wife as upset as when you sit down. There is always something you should be doing. Even if they are sitting and doing nothing.”
– “Be sure to have a trashcan in every bathroom.”
– “Cleaning the toilet regularly is much, much more important than I’d previously thought.”
– “She’ll let you believe you were clogging the toilet when it was her. I learned this when she moved out.”
– “Once the house is clean, it isn’t really clean.”
– “That some people don’t like their ketchup in the fridge.”
– “I learned that life is much more peaceful alone.”
– “My dad told my husband, ‘You can never tell your wife I love you enough. A thousand times? She’ll love to hear it again. Tonight. Tomorrow. The next day. You will make her day just saying those three words.'”
* PHONE TOPIC: What did you never know until you lived with a woman? Ladies, what did you never know until you lived with a man?

U.S. NEWS

MAN TRIED TO SMUGGLE GUN INSIDE A RAW CHICKEN AT AIRPORT

On Monday, The Transportation Security Administration posted on social media that its agents at the Fort Lauderdale Airport found a gun smuggled inside a raw chicken. Photos showed a gun that was wrapped in a plastic bag and shoved inside the carcass. Both fresh and cooked meats are permitted in carry-on bags and checked luggage, but they must be packed with ice or ice packs, and they can’t be stuffed with guns.
* He should have had the lasagna.
* Look out, he’s got giblets!
* Were either of them loaded? The gun or the guy?
* It’s a new food: Chicken Trigger Fingers.
* Thank you for flying Air Salmonella.

WOMAN HITS MAN WITH A PLANK BECAUSE SHE WANTED MORE ATTENTION

A Largo, Florida woman was arrested Sunday after allegedly hitting a man with a board. Police said Demilyn Vergara, 31, told them she was “upset because she was not getting enough attention.” Vergara allegedly swung a 2×4 with an exposed nail at an unidentified man’s head. The attack was witnessed by a police officer, and she was arrested. The man suffered only an abrasion.
* Fortunately, it was a man’s head, which is why he suffered only an abrasion.
* “Look at me when you’re ducking, dammit!”
* Smacked him with a board ’cause she was bored.
* See, she wanted HIM to bring the wood.
* Planking is so 2012.

SCHOOL BUS DRIVER TAKES KIDS TO WRONG STATE

A Rhode Island school bus driver took a group of prep school students to the wrong state after a GPS mishap. The new driver for First Student bus company typed in the correct street address but wrong city — and ended up in rural Connecticut instead of La Salle Academy in Providence, Rhode Island. Kids on the hour-long ride Monday morning noticed they’d passed a “Welcome to Connecticut” sign and texted pictures to their parents. The female bus driver called local police who figured out the address mixup, and discovered she was heading for Sterling, Connecticut — about 30 miles away from Providence, in Connecticut. The cop escorted the driver to the school, where the busload of kids arrived safely but late to class.
* Nothing wrong with the kids’ geography knowledge.
* She typed in the wrong state ’cause “Rhode Island” is practically spelled the same as “Connecticut.”
* Kids, stop complaining! You got a half-day of school. Appreciate it.
* Big deal. Those little states in the northeast are what – 3 miles wide?
* The lady was obviously not a graduate of La Salle Academy.

MAN ENTOMBS A BAG OF FLAMIN’ HOT CHEETOS

A Seattle man posted a TikTok showing how he built a tomb for a bag of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos in an effort to preserve the snack “for centuries.” The guy, who goes by the name of Sunday Nobody, says it took him four months and cost $1,250 in materials. First, he found a couple that was willing to have a small tomb built on their property. He built a human-sized sarcophagus using 3,000 pounds of concrete. Inside, he placed an unopened bag of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos that had been encased in clear resin. On top of the sarcophagus is printing that says, “Flamin’ Hot Cheetos,” along with the list of ingredients found on the back of every Cheetos bag. The container was sealed, and the entire thing was buried below ground in an undisclosed location.
* Waiting to be discovered by a couple of stoners a thousand years in the future.
* I don’t know… concrete box, encased in resin, sealed and buried below ground… The squirrels’ll get it for sure.
* Pretty expensive, but he did manage to buy the Cheetos before the price went up.
* Does he not think we’ll have Flamin’ Hot Cheetos centuries from now? Does he know something we don’t know?
* Sounds like a fun project, although people are starting to ask why the property owners haven’t been seen in awhile.

FINALLY, TURKEY GRAVY INFUSED WITH WEED

Want to mellow your Thanksgiving dinner? A company called Kiva Confections has created a cannabis-infused turkey gravy. The limited-edition Kiva Turkey Gravy is now available for purchase at dispensaries across California for only $5. The ingredients include turkey stock, salt, onion and garlic, rosemary, thyme, oregano and cannabis. To prepare, all you have to do is whisk the gravy powder with one cup of water in a saucepan, bring to a boil, and stir occasionally until it reaches the desired level of thickness.
* Or PHATness, more like.
* Don’t bogart that ladle, my friend. Pass the gravy.
* Might want to plan on an extra pie.
* And an extra-long post-turkey nap.
* “Uncle Lou, stop talking politics a minute and have some more gravy on those potatoes. Go ahead, take it all.”
* I would have gone with pot-infused cranberry sauce gummies, but whatever.
* Mom will say, “I’ve never had a Thanksgiving meal before with no leftovers.”

TRENDING

JEFF COOKE OF ALABAMA DIES

Guitarist Jeff Cook, who co-founded the country group Alabama and steered them up the charts with such hits as “Song of the South” and “Dixieland Delight,” has died. He was 73. Cook had Parkinson’s disease and disclosed his diagnosis in 2017. He died Tuesday at his home in Destin, Florida. Cook — alongside cousins Randy Owen and Teddy Gentry — landed eight No. 1 songs on the country charts between spring 1980 and summer 1982, including “Love In The First Degree” and “Feels So Right,” as well as “Tennessee River” and “Mountain Music.” The band had a three-year run as CMA Entertainer of the Year from 1982-1985 and earned five ACM Award Entertainer of the Year trophies from 1981-1985. Cook stopped touring with Alabama in 2018.

CHRIS EVANS IS “SEXIEST MAN ALIVE”

Actor Chris Evans has been assigned, er, named People magazine’s 2022 title of “Sexiest Man Alive.” The 41-year-old star takes the crown from last year’s champ and fellow Avenger, Paul Rudd. Evans told People, “Really this will just be a point of bullying. It’s ripe for harassment.” But, he says, “My mom will be so happy. She’s proud of everything I do but this is something she can really brag about.”

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Nov. 11, Friday – Veterans Day
Nov. 24, Thursday – Thanksgiving
Dec. 21, Wednesday – Winter begins, winter solstice occurs at 4:48 p.m. EST
Dec. 25, Sunday – Christmas
Dec. 31, Saturday – New Year’s Eve
Jan. 1, Sunday – New Year’s Day

BIRTHDAYS

Nick Lachey (singer, TV personality, ex-husband of Jessica Simpson) … 49
Eric Dane (actor, “Grey’s Anatomy”) … 50
Lou Ferrigno (actor, bodybuilder, played “The Incredible Hulk” on TV) … 71

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“The action genre is not always the most synonymous with character development.”

(A) Vin Diesel
(B) Sacha Baron Cohen
(C) Eric Dane

ANSWER: (C) Eric Dane

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

COVID-19 in History:
2020 – Recorded COVID-19 cases in the U.S. passed 10 million, with 1 million new cases recorded in 10 days. The death toll stood at over 237,000.
2020 – Drugmakers BioNTech and Pfizer announced their COVID-19 vaccine to be over 90% effective in a first look at the results from their phase 3 trial involving nearly 44,000 people.

1999 – The first plutonium powered heart pacemaker was fitted to a 48 year-old American man.
* Before long, he was glowing with health – literally.

1989 – Communist East Germany opened its borders to West Germany while joyous citizens danced on the Berlin Wall, which was torn down shortly afterwards. East and West Germany eventually reunited into one democratic country.
* On the downside, all those spy novelists were out of a job.

1988 – Garry Kasparov became world chess champion by beating Anatoly Karpov, who had held the title for 10 years.
* Although he’d only actually made three moves in that time.

1983 – Brewing magnate, Alfred Heineken, was kidnapped in Amsterdam.
* The kidnappers eventually handed him in and got a deposit back.

1938 – The holiday “Sadie Hawkins Day,” where the girl gets to ask the guy out, was invented in a comic strip by cartoonist Al Capp.
* This is a sacred day in prisons throughout the United States.

1911 – George Claude invented neon signs.
* Must have been hard to keep those a secret when he was working on them …

1853 – Gail Borden patented “evaporated milk.”
* I’ve never understood how you can sell milk that’s evaporated.

1847 – A woman gave birth to a child with the aid of anesthetic for the first time.
* If MEN gave birth the anesthetic would’ve been invented six centuries earlier.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2002 – It was announced that Madonna’s latest movie “Swept Away” would not be released in the UK because it had been such a box office flop in the U.S. The Washington Post said the film was “as awful as you’ve heard and as bad as you’ve imagined.”

1996 – Van Halen went to No. 1 on the U.S. album chart with “Best Of Vol. 1.”

1990 – The IRS seized all of country singer Willie Nelson’s bank accounts and real estate holdings in connection with a $16 million tax debt.

1985 – Jan Hammer went to No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with the “Miami Vice Theme.”

1967 – The first issue of Rolling Stone Magazine was published in San Francisco. It came with a free roach clip to hold a marijuana joint.

1966 – John Lennon met Yoko Ono for the first time when he visited her art exhibition at the Indica Gallery, London.

1961 – Brian Epstein saw The Beatles playing live for the first time during a lunchtime session at The Cavern in Liverpool. Epstein went on to be the group’s manager.

1958 – Elvis Presley’s “Hound Dog” exceeded three million copies sold in the U.S., becoming only the third single to do so to that date, along with Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas” and Gene Autry’s “Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer.”

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. 37% of us do THIS ourselves, while 14% of us NEVER do it. What is it?
Wash our car

2. When it comes to our car, 11% of us have never looked at THIS. What is it?
The owner’s manual

3. 60% of us have THIS in our cars. What is it?
An umbrella

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