THE IG NOBLE PRIZES

This year’s Ig Nobel Prizes have been announced. The awards are given to scientific research that may sound silly, but usually has a serious purpose. Some of the winners:
– U.S. researchers who studied if riding on some types of roller-coaster is an effective way of removing kidney stones. It is. The idea for the study came from a patient who reported that one of his kidney stones became dislodged after a ride on Big Thunder Mountain at Disney World. Wondering whether it was caused by the ride or a coincidence, the patient went on the ride several more times and each time a stone popped out.
* Of what? I hoped they wiped down the seat after each time.
* Performing an experiment like this on yourself takes a lot of stones.
* So can you pay for a trip to Disney World with your health insurance?
– Japanese researcher, Dr. Akira Horiuchi won the Medical Education Prize for devising a “self-colonoscopy” technique using a small endoscope to explore one’s own colon.
* “Explore”? That makes it sound like there’s some kind of treasure at the end.
* Hey, Doc, guess what you can do with your self-colonoscopy endoscope. C’mon – guess!
* This story should be featured in the Uranus Examiner newspaper! (See our story today under U.S. News.)
– The economics award went to research investigating whether it is effective for employees to use voodoo dolls to retaliate against mean bosses. It’s not.
* Not if you forget to slaughter the goat at midnight.
* I’ll bet the voodoo doll would work if you packed it full of plastic explosives.
– The Ig Nobel Chemistry Prize went to research that settled the issue of whether human saliva is a good cleaning agent for dirty surfaces. It is – especially for fragile, painted areas on ceramics, and on gold leaf.
* And the backs of postage stamps and envelopes.
* So if the chemistry team’s Ig Noble prize ceramic coffee cups get dirty, they’ll know what to do.
– A Swedish team won the biology award for demonstrating that wine experts can reliably identify, by smell, the presence of a fly in a glass of wine.
* Ahhh – but what KIND of fly???
* It must be murder for a wine expert to use the bathroom at a ballpark.
– A British researcher won the Nutrition Prize for calculating that pound per pound, it is not worth eating human flesh compared with other types of meat.
* I wish I’d known that earlier.
* I thought Hannibal Lecter was supposed to be super smart?
* And still no flying cars.