MAN JUMPS FROM CAR TO RETURN TO PARTY, DIES

A 34-year-old Hesperia, Michigan, man died early Tuesday morning after jumping from a moving vehicle driven by his drunken wife. The couple had left a party and the man wanted to return but the wife did not, so he jumped from the vehicle, police said. EMTs responded at 4:30 a.m. to a report of a man lying unresponsive alongside the road. While the man was being treated at the scene, a motorist pulled up and identified herself as the man’s wife. She said they were riding together and left a party. She told deputies they had an argument in the car and the man said he was going back to the party, and then he jumped out. She went on to check on her children, who were being watched by a grandparent, and then stopped for pizza before returning to the scene where she found emergency crews working on her husband. The man suffered severe head injuries and died in the ambulance en route to the hospital. The wife was arrested for operating while intoxicated.
* How come this never happens in “Fast and Furious” movies?
* Furious 7 was on over the weekend. 13 people leaped out of speeding cars before they exploded – not a scratch on them.
* I think the secret is to tuck before you roll.
* On the bright side, no more marital arguments over partying.
* It’s always sad when the Darwin Award natural selection kicks in AFTER the morons have bred offspring.
* So many questions. Like, what pizza place is open at 4:30 on a Tuesday morning?
* Of course, the poor guy could have been lying there for a few hours and they only found him at 4:30.
* That would make sense since the town of Hesperia only has 954 people in it.
* One thing’s for sure: She wasn’t out looking for him the moment he didn’t come home.
* Frankly, I like our other pizza story today with the train a lot more.
* She did say she was so worried about him that she could barely finish the last slice.