HOLIDAY OFFICE PARTIES GONE BAD

Slate magazine asked readers for stories about horrible things that have happened in the workplace at Christmas. Here’are a few of them:
– One below-minimum wage worker received this email: “Dear [staff], Each year we have done a holiday gift for [the boss] to recognize his leadership during the year. I’d like to start the ball rolling on the collection early this year in order to present him with his gift by December 18th at our annual retreat day. Please send your contribution to me and I will take care of purchase. Last year we presented him with a two night stay at a ski resort for him and his family and they loved it, so why not repeat the appreciated gift?”
– “At a holiday office party I drunkenly agreed to take in some co-worker’s cat. I was shocked when he showed up the next day with a freaked-out tabby and a bunch of cat-related items. I was angry at first, but now I’ve had him for about 10 years.
– “I am a Jewish 26-year-old. I’ve been on the job about a year. My boss, a usually nice lady, has taken it upon herself to educate me about Christmas this season. She has spent well over $500 on Christmas decorations which she has strategically placed mostly around my work area.”
– “The CEO threw an evening holiday party at his house. The A/P director drank too much and threw up shrimp cocktail on the white shag carpet. I accidentally walked in on the sales director peeing in the unlocked hallway bathroom, which I thought was the coat closet. The president himself got completely hammered and went around telling people totally inappropriate stories and broke the sliding door to his patio. ”
– “The head of HR got so drunk at the party she flashed her boobs over the metal railings of this rooftop bar we were at, and because of the snow/light rain, the side of one of her breasts fused to the railing. Seeing her two female HR admins blowing on her breast to release it whilst shielding her modesty with scarves is a sight that will never leave me.”
* That sight will never leave me, either, and I wasn’t even there.
* You can’t have the ho-ho-ho without a little bit of ho.
* Look, if you end the evening with nobody pregnant and nobody with a new tattoo, it’s a win.
* The best thing is for everyone to drink so much, no one remembers anything.
* PHONE TOPIC: Bad things that happened at office Christmas parties.