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Today Is…

THURSDAY – Apr 23

WEDNESDAY – Apr 22

TUESDAY – Apr 21

Anything special being celebrated or commemorated today? Find out here!

TODAY’S ALMANAC

THURSDAY ALMANAC – Apr 23

WEDNESDAY ALMANAC – Apr 22

TUESDAY ALMANAC – Apr 21

Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music

TODAY’S TRIVIA

WEDNESDAY TRIVIA – Apr 22

TUESDAY TRIVIA – Apr 21

MONDAY TRIVIA – Apr 20

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies

Premiering Thursday through Sunday

MADONNA’S CLOTHES STOLEN. OR SOMETHING.

Now what will she wear???

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies

Premiering Monday through Wednesday

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies

Premiering Thursday through Sunday

JURY FINDS LIVE NATION A MONOPOLY

It took six weeks to figure that out?

NICOLE KIDMAN, DEATH DOULA

Angel of mercy.

SID KROFFT, CREATOR OF H.R. PUFNSTUF, DIES

Can’t do a little ’cause he can’t do enough.

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies

Premiering Monday through Wednesday

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies

Premiering Thursday through Sunday

JOKE OF THE DAY

Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.

Two rednecks pull into a lumberyard.

posted April 22
One goes in and asks a clerk for some four-by-twos. “You mean two-by-fours?” the clerk asks. The redneck says, “I’ll go check.” He goes back to the car, asks his buddy, and returns a minute later. “Yeah, two-by-fours will be fine,” he tells the clerk. “All right,” says the clerk. “And how long?” “Just a minute,” says the redneck,” and heads back out to the car. A minute later he comes back and tells the clerk. “A long time. We’re buildin’ a garage.”

There’s a knock at the door.

posted April 21
Guy answers it, a sees a little man standing on the step. He says, “You’re not very tall are you”? Man says, ” I’m 3-foot 3.” Guy says, “So what do you want?” The guy says, “I’m the meter man.”

Why is Cardi B so out of shape?

posted April 20
Because she’s Cardi B, not Cardio.

Which country has the most bad singers?

posted April 17
Singapore.

How did Fred Flintstone please Wilma?

posted April 16
He made her Bed Rock.

U.S. NEWS

LET THE WORLD LISTEN TO YOUR DINNER CONVERSATION

“Mom, who are you talking to?” “The spaghetti sauce.”

MOOSE LIES DOWN IN FRONT OF THE MOOSE 94.7 RADIO

How’d they swing that?

ARSON SUSPECT FOUND BY POLICE WITH SINGED EYEBROWS

Do you smell smoke?

COCAINE SALMON

“I’ll have the fish, please.” – Cocaine Bear

FLORIDA COUPLE FINDS SOMEBODY ALREADY IN THEIR BURIAL PLOT

Nothing worse than gravesquatters.

HIGH SCHOOL KIDS TAKE WIENERMOBILE TO THE PROM

You never sausage a sight.

TRUCKER CAUGHT WATCHING “DEEP SPACE NINE” WHILE DRIVING

We’ve got to get these Ferengis off the road.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

CONDUCTOR KNOCKS £1 MILLION VIOLIN OUT OF SOLIST’S HANDS

Smashing!

CONDOM SHORTAGE DUE TO IRAN WAR DISRUPTIONS

Things are hard all over, I guess.

FARMER TO BREED UGLIER COWS

Don’t have a cow, man.

INDIAN TEMPLE REQUIRES VISITORS TO DRINK THE SECRET SAUCE

Respect the cow. Respect it!

BULLFIGHTER GORED IN THE RECTUM

Darn near killed ‘im.

BRIDE SPLASHED WITH PAINT BY HER EVIL SISTER-IN-LAW

The bride wore black (splotches).

CHIROPRACTOR ACCUSED OF TAPPING BUTTOCKS

Tap dat ass.

SAFARI GUIDE HAS DREAM COME TRUE!

“Like people, some of them are just jerks.” – The Simpsons

FUNNY PICTURES

Right-click on images to
Copy or Save.

Polly Wants That Cracker NOW

posted April 22

How They Make Latte Art

posted April 22

Guess Who?

posted April 21

Fried Godzilla

posted April 21

Static In My Attic

posted April 20

S.S. Watermelon

posted April 20

THE BUZZ

THIS PLACE IS UNREAL

Far out.

WHAT DO ALL MEN LIKE?

Other than scratching yourself.

HUMANS ARE EVOLVING INTO REDHEADS

Humangutans.

CAN YOU MAKE A MEAL WITHOUT LOOKING AT A RECIPE?

No, but I know how to make reservations.

AUDIO: ONE IN FIVE BELIEVE THEY ARE PSYCHIC

I knew it.

HOW TO SAVE MONEY ON GAS, FROM COMMON IDIOTS.

(Not everyone is an idiot.)

CREEPY KIDS

Jeepers creepers.

DUMB HEADLINES

Read, discuss, vote for the dumbest.

TRENDING

SHANIA TWAIN HOSTING ACM AWARDS

BILLY STRINGS BREAKS LEG JUST BEFORE ENCORE

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE (April 17-19)

TIM MCGRAW BACK ON TV

ROCK & ROLL HALL OF FAME CLASS ANNOUNCED

ERIC CHURCH BREAKS HIS FOOT

MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE OF A RACING WRECK

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE (April 10-12)

NEW MOVIES

Click on name for details and audio clips

MICHAEL

Starts Friday, August 1 in theaters.

OVER YOUR DEAD BODY

Starts Friday, April 24 in theaters.

NORMAL

Starts Friday, April 17 in theaters.

LEE CRONIN’S THE MUMMY

Starts Friday, April 17 in theaters.

Click on the title to go to an mp3 player. To download the mp3, right-click on the player and choose the “Save audio as” option.

BROUGHT TO YOU BY

Funny fake sponsorship announcements

A & M AUTOLAND – Free Iron

Big Al’s latest promotion isn’t so hot, and Big Mike gets steamed.

PROM: WHISTLE STOP

It’s not hard to have a nice lawn.

THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

For Friday, April 17.

PROMOS-TO-GO

Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts

A & M AUTOLAND – Beat It

If you find a deal and Big Al can’t beat it, Big Mike will beat Al.

SONG – WORK ON MY TAXES ALL DAY

Wht are YOU doing this weekend?

THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

For Friday, April 10.

TACHYON TAX

Faster than TurboTax!

BROUGHT TO YOU BY

Funny fake sponsorship announcements

A & M AUTOLAND – Tax Time

Al and Mike try to have fun with your refund.

RED PLOPSTER SHRIMP MONTH

This is it, baby.

THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

For Friday, April 3.

PROMOS-TO-GO

Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts

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