MAN INJURED BY PIZZA HUT CROUTONS
They broke his denture.
TOPPLING TOMBSTONE KILLS MAN
He was visiting the family gravesite.
WOMAN STABS BOYFRIEND WHO ATE ALL THE SALSA
She also knocked over his TV.
CINNAMON BUN RAGE
The victim did some “high-stepping” to get out of the way.
BURGLAR STEALS 100 CHOCOLATE BARS
The fundraising-type candy bars, too.
PASTEL EGG-LAYING HENS STOLEN BEFORE EASTER
Must have been “someone who knows chickens.”
NJ THEME PARK CUTTING DOWN TREES FOR SOLAR FARM
More than 18,000 trees.
AUDIO: HOTEL BLASTS "THE CIRCLE OF LIFE" TO WAKE UP SPRING BREAKERS
Bright and early, at 11 AM.
TEACHING ASSISTANT BARRICADES SELF, STUDENTS IN CLASS, STRIPS
Lira barricaded herself in the classroom and was putting on and removing her clothes.
KIDS NEED PERMISSION SLIP TO EAT AN OREO
For a science experiment.