DRUNK MAN SETS OFF FIREWORK FROM TOP OF HEAD, DIES

A young man who was drinking and celebrating the Fourth of July tried to launch a firework off the top of his head. Devon Staples and his friends had been drinking and setting off fireworks Saturday night in the backyard of a friend’s home in the small eastern Maine city of Calais. Staples, 22, placed a fireworks mortar tube on his head and set it off. The firework exploded, killing Staples instantly.
* What do you suppose was going through his mind? Oh, never mind. I think I answered my own question.
* Usually, fireworks make people go ooo and ahh, but this one made everyone go “yuck”.
* Musta been one of those grand finale fireworks.
* The holiday isn’t really over till the fireworks stories are in.
* Usually when you say, “I have an idea off the top of my head” it goes better than this.
* How big was the explosion? Big. They’re going to bury him in the crater.
* That reminds me: do they still do the Darwin Awards or is that over?
* My favorite of those was the pilot who tried to moon people on the ground as he flew by in his small plane. That didn’t work out either.