PUMPKIN-CARVING DAD SUBDUES INTRUDER
Guy broke in during pumpkin carving.
MAN SKIPS OUT OF COURT JUST BEFORE JURY FINDS HIM NOT GUILTY
He’s free and clear now.
MAN ARRESTED AT MONOPOLY TOURNAMENT
He started a brawl.
INDIANA JONES ARRESTED AFTER HIGH SPEED CHASE
I got a bad feeling about this.
BATMAN ON CRIME SPREE
Caught in his underwear, by the pool.
WALMART MAKES CHANGES TO STORES
Fewer product sizes, lower racks at the checkout.
DID HUGGIES PHOTOSHOP A THIGH GAP ON A DIAPERED BABY?
To make its legs appear thinner.
MAN ALREADY CAMPING OUT FOR BLACK FRIDAY
Wait – he’s not a man – he’s a DJ.
MAN KILLS FRIEND OVER ZOMBIE FEAR
They had been binge-watching “The Walking Dead”. And drinking.