WOMAN SHOT BY DOG NAMED TRIGGER
The dog, not the woman.
NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET TURNS OUT TO BE PET SEMATARY
Coffin the backyard.
MAN KILLED HIS MOM, KEPT HER AT MOTEL FOR 7 WEEKS
In Pleasant Valley, New York.
BURGLAR STRIPS, CLIMBS INTO COUPLE'S BED
And kissed the man.
AUDIO: BELUGA WHALE DIES AT AQUARIUM
In that natural whale habitat, Atlanta.
BURGLARY SUSPECT HIDES IN CLOTHES DRYER
But not for long.
TODDLER DRIVES CAR AFTER DRUNK MOM FALLS OUT
While trying to buckle her son’s seat belt.
RUNNER ADVERTISES FOR DATES DURING MARATHON
On his shirtless back.
'MINION OF SATAN' WANTS TO GIVE COUNTY COMMISSION INVOCATION
“There won’t be any satanic prayers while I’m chairman.”