TURTLE THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD
On the Florida interstate.
AUDIO: WOMAN EMBEZZLED $7,000 IN QUARTERS
Laundry money.
MAN WAKES UP FROM COMA, ASKS FOR TACO BELL
“I want Taco Bell.”
"FREE HUGS" GUY HITS LADY
He demanded a tip.
AUDIO: OWNER BUTCHERS HOG OUTSIDE RESTAURANT
It wasn’t for the restaurant. Uh huh.
BELLIGERENT MAN TO COP: "WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, FAT BOY?"
Fat Boy had an answer to that.
SECURITY GUARD SHOOTS SELF IN LEG WAITING FOR JOB INTERVIEW
Applying for a school janitor.
ELON MUSK WANTS SPACEX SUITS TO LOOK COOL
So he hired a superhero costume designer.
MAN STABBED FOR NOT HAVING SEX
Woman gots to have it.
REESE'S PUTS MINI REESE'S INSIDE REESE'S. REESE'S.
Because they can.