5-YEAR-OLD GIRL SUSPENDED FOR PLASTIC BUBBLE GUN
That’s bubble GUN, not gum.
NEIGHBORS HAVE LIGHT BATTLE
Involving spotlights, strobes and disco lights.
WOMAN FALLS DOWN TRASH CHUTE INTO COMPACTOR
It also involved dangling.
MOM WRITES PERMISSION SLIP FOR BOYS TO CLIMB TREES
“In fact, I encourage it.”
BABYSITTER TAKES KIDS TO BANK ROBBERY
Field trip, kids!
HIGH SCHOOL KID BREAKS PULLUP RECORD
7,306. What did you do today?
300-POUND MAN OUT OF BREATH AFTER SHOPLIFTING ESCAPE
The chase barely lasted across the parking lot.
COLD, LONELY BABY BISON EUTHANIZED
Mean old park rangers.
MAN ATTEMPTS TO ROB CAR WASH WITH A POTATO CHIP BAG
He was not successful.